Blackbird

So this is the first blog.It took me a REALLY long time to get started.First,i had a problem with my nickname and the name of my blog.I mean obviously this is an impression i'm setting right?I definitely didn't(still don't!) want to go wrong there.Why did i choose 'Blackbird'?Because it's cool!Haha.No,seriously,the song really touches me.And i don't mean in a 'it-touches-my-heart' way.It just does something.Changes the way i think.Or sometimes makes me think.And the singing.So not complicated.Just perfect.Great song!Like all the other Beatles' songs.

And my blog name.I had a huge problem with that too.I thought.For so long.I'd always pictured blogging with titles of those of songs.Songs i felt like that day.So i decided to call it something related to soundtrack.Or theme.I've always thought life(iaah..it already sounds philosophical and *sigh*) was a lot like a movie and each moment has it's own little song.I did't want something too cheesy or wannabe and i thought OST sounded least of anything of that sort.So OST!

I really don't know what to type about in a blog.Do i describe myself?Mention the things i like?Do i already make what kind of person i am perfectly clear to someone?When i actually mention the things i like and don't like,aren't you already sizing me up and deciding for yourself who i am?Is that fair?No!So i think i'll let you figure out yourself.I'll just type down everything that's going on my head and stop there.

I haven't had a very productive day.And i really didn't think i'd end up actually starting to blog today.I did have a few phonecalls,some of which surprised me.And made me think.I always think.I over-think.It irritates me to a very large extent.Me and a lot of my friends.But i do have company.And when i feel like that,i talk to Penguin.Or Horse.Or even Football.I write to Baby.Or sometimes even talk to him.But what i dream about most is doing all this with Dragonfly.Writing to him.Talking to him.Just sitting quietly and listening to my ipod with him.I don't know if he fills my head every single time i have a problem,but i know i wish i had him.Everyone feels so far away sometimes.
Now that we have our holidays,and i'm back home,maybe things should have gotten easier when it comes to talking to certain people.It has.For some.Still,i do have my 'alone' moments.
The thing is,i'm not always this person.I'm not the depressed-forever,sympathy-seeking person really.Most people see me as an extremely happy person.Hyper.Loud.Warm.Maybe it's what i'm listening to just now that's affecting me.Of course it it!'Just Feel Better' - Santana ft. Steve Tyler.Brilliant song!

Anyway,i think i'll end here.Somehow i think if i write more and more today i might just over-think about a few things and end up crying.That happens a lot.And i cry at the drop of a hat.
So i'm going to stop.
Is that weird?
Anyway.
Maybe i'll get better fast.Looking forward to doing this again!

Last thoughts:

'And I know, I know, I know,
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason.
I don't, I don't, I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better,
Tell me what to do,
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better..'